I Stay Home A Lot

These are the things I think about.

  • My brain during the day: Potato, potato, ching chong tomato
  • My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.
When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys call asking your cup size, say A, hang up. When he says you give him blue balls, say you’re welcome. When a girl with thick black curls who smells like bubble gum stops you in a stairwell to ask if you’re a boy, explain that you keep your hair short so she won’t have anything to grab when you head-butt her. Then head-butt her. When a guidance counselor teases you for handed-down jeans, do not turn red. When you have sex for the second time and there is no condom, do not convince yourself that screwing between layers of underwear will soak up the semen. When your geometry teacher posts a banner reading: “Learn math or go home and learn how to be a Momma,” do not take your first feminist stand by leaving the classroom. When the boy you have a crush on is sent to detention, go home. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boy with the blue mohawk swallows your heart and opens his wrists, hide the knives, bleach the bathtub, pour out the vodka. Every time. When the skinhead girls jump you in the bathroom stall, swing, curse, kick, do not turn red. When a boy you think you love delivers the first black eye, use a screw driver, a beer bottle, your two good hands. When your father locks the door, break the window. When a college professor writes you poetry and whispers about your tight little ass, do not take it as a compliment, do not wait, call the Dean, call his wife. When a boy with good manners and a thirst for Budweiser proposes, say no. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys tell you how good you smell, do not doubt them, do not turn red. When your brother tells you he is gay, pretend you already know. When the girl on the subway curses you because your tee shirt reads: “I fucked your boyfriend,” assure her that it is not true. When your dog pees the rug, kiss her, apologize for being late. When he refuses to stay the night because you lived in Jersey City, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Harlem, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because your air conditioner is broken, leave him. When he refuses to keep a toothbrush at your apartment, leave him. When you find the toothbrush you keep at his apartment hidden in the closet, leave him. Do not regret this. Do not turn red. When your mother hits you, do not strike back.
— “Unsolicited Advice to Adolescent Girls With Crooked Teeth and Pink Hair,” Jeanann Verlee (via clavicola)

(via no1-cares)

gamefreaksnz:

Retro Duo Portable NES/SNES Game System
USD$89.99
Product Specifications
Portable Game Console Plays Old Nintendo SNES and NES Games
Connects to television for big screen gaming
Comes with extension controllers for multiplayer games
Up to 8 hours of game play on a single charge
Also compatible with Sega Genesis with additional RetroGen Adapter (Not Included)
System Includes:
Retro Duo Portable Main Unit
Two (2) SuperRetro Controllers
Controller hub
Stand Up Dock
AC power adapter: 100-240v input
Standard AV Cable
Rechargeable lithium-ion battery
RetroPORT Adapter for NES Games
User Manual

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gamefreaksnz:

Retro Duo Portable NES/SNES Game System

USD$89.99

Product Specifications

  • Portable Game Console Plays Old Nintendo SNES and NES Games
  • Connects to television for big screen gaming
  • Comes with extension controllers for multiplayer games
  • Up to 8 hours of game play on a single charge
  • Also compatible with Sega Genesis with additional RetroGen Adapter (Not Included)
  • System Includes:
    • Retro Duo Portable Main Unit
    • Two (2) SuperRetro Controllers
    • Controller hub
    • Stand Up Dock
    • AC power adapter: 100-240v input
    • Standard AV Cable
    • Rechargeable lithium-ion battery
    • RetroPORT Adapter for NES Games
    • User Manual

(Source: thinkgeek.com, via pushthemovement)

dailymileylove:

WHAT DA FUQ IS YO BODY


YOu are my one true LOve

(Source: fuckyeahcyrus)

No matter how far you travel, you can never get away from yourself.
— Haruki Murakami, After the quake (via forgivethelost)

(Source: 690min, via daphneemarie)

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.
— Vonnegut 
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